Death in the OR

I really hate it when a patient dies in the operating room. I've been a witness to this twice in my 2 1/2 years in surgery, but know of at least 3 others. There are numerous reasons that someone might pass....Sometimes, it is because the patient is critical upon arrival in the OR, such as a ruptured AAA (abdominal aortic aneurysm), sometimes it is because their heart freaks out under anesthesia. I remember the first patient I saw die in the OR. He was in his mid 30's and I was the one who rushed the crash cart into the room. And I watched as several surgeons, anesthesiologists and staff members tried to bring him back, but to no avail. I became extremely upset and had to run to the restroom to compose myself. When I returned, one of the surgeons told me "he was in bad shape, and hadn't taken care of himself"....well I understand that, but it was still sad to witness someone die. I don't think I'll ever get used to it. I just say a prayer.